You and I were still here (guilted)

[fae]

OK...This was the first tune on guitar I ever wrote...but I never put words with it...but recently I found my muse in a most unfortunate incident.I don't care what anyone has to say about it, but I know there will be more then one party who will understand here.So, here you go while Fae bares her soul. Not a love song, children.))

Scar tissue
Says I miss you
but you are
deaf to my skin
I didn't want to
be the issue
but I was
Blind to my sin

/Chorus/
And I pushed back
But you took that
So I watched
As we wilted
So here I am
All that I am
Is left
tired and guilted

Now I'm ashamed
But you are not to blaim
Cause I have
wished it away
I bruised me
You abused me
So Now we're
Even in our ways.

/repeat chorus/

Time is jaded
you have faded
My mind
isn't always clear
But I remember
It was better
when you and I
were still here

[Chance Harebell]

My god, why do you have to be such a good poet?
*goes off into corner to cry*

By the by. I'm still ticked at you. But I compliment what deserves complimenting, and that deserves it. That song could be a hit in the right hands.

[fae]

Well, I don't want it to be a hit. I know you're mad at me, and quite frankly, I'm mad at you too. This poem wasn;t about you, nor Lauren, nor anyone else. It was about /all/ of us.

[fae]

And god knows everyone is going to be pissed at me for writing it, but damnit there it is. The truth, my feelings. So kiss it anyone who has anyone negative to say.

[Chance Harebell]

Did I say it was about anyone in particular, Fae? I believe I merely complimented it.
You've nothing to be mad at me about. I haven't done anything to you. I quit Trouf. But to my knowledge, Trouf is NOT the basis of our friendship. And I quit it for good reasons, wether anyone cares to believe me or not.
However, I cannot believe that after I thought at least you would still be my friend in the end, after talking and chatting about camps and instruments and other nonsense, you STILL think I quit because I was trying to hurt you lot. I quit because it was what was, and is, best for me. I can't handle the stress of trying to keep a book together and then get badmouthed by Artemis or Zi every time one of them's in a bad mood. I'm not a mode of stress relief, you know.

[fae]

BUT IT WASN'T ABOUT THE BOOK! My gods! It was never about the stupid book, I hated the book! Trouf wasn't the basis of our friendship, but it symbolized our friendship! Do you think we went to those meetings to write /the book/? NO! We did it to see eachother!
And I AM your friend, do you think I would be here, boiling with rage and sobbing if I fucking wasn't? I'm pissed at you, and at Arte, and Zi and Krisp and everyone because WE'RE ALL BEING DUMB ASSES! Every single bloody one of us is being immature, and stupid! THE WHOLE REASON WE DID THAT STUFF WAS TO GET A REACTION OUT OF YOU, because secretly, we can't STAND this bullshit anymore of everyone not speaking. was it wrong? Yes. Was I wrong? Yes. Were you wrong? Yes!! You say, 'Why? I didn't do anything.' and I say, YES! YES YES YES YES YES YOU DID! To quote you, "Trouf isn't a priority". TROUF WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE! It was supposed to be us doing something fun. If it wasn't fun for you, you should have told us, we would of fixed it. I WOULD HAVE FIXED IT. and this doesn't even make any scence to you, because I'm just ranting what I've been feelings for days, and I don't even make scence of myself. Just, I wanted you to read that because it's how I feel. So now no one will talk to me, Cause I'm not supposed to be appologizing, or whatever, but here it is:

I AM SORRY! I'M SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY, IT'S ALL MY FAULT, JUST CUT IT OUT! ALL OF YOU!

[Chance Harebell]

Listen Fae, I'm not arguing with you about this any more. Or anyone.
Trouf turned into a priority, for me anyway. Trying to hold the whole stupid thing together whenever everyone was absent for weeks at a time, writing all of the book, and never getting any respect for what I worked hard to accomplish for all of us. I was trying to do something for my first and only bloody friends, but the whole time someone was displeased with something I was doing, be it Zi or Artemis. This last incident was the last straw. And if you still can't understand that, then I don't know how else to make you see or what else I should do. I'm not going back on my word and coming back. I know you all expected me back within a few days of when I said that. I'm not staying away to get a response out of you. I'm staying away for my own sanity.

[fae]

You said all you wanted was an appology, Chill. Well there it is. And you did come back, like they knew you would, you saw their revenge posted all over Trouf, and you bit.
They're feelings were hurt too, just like yours. I'm not making excuses, and I'm not arguing.
I'm appologizing, but I'm not gonna say anything for either side. We're all dick heads. And there you go.

Sorry.

[S-to-the-D]

*Edges onto scene* Umm...can I...ask what happened? What's Trouf??

[fae]

Trouf Was a different life once, but it isn't anymore. Now it's just the reason for my constant unhappiness. Take it or leave it, Chill. I'm sorry.

[S-to-the-D]

*Tilts head* But...what happened? What's wrong?

[Chance Harebell]

Best you don't get involved, SD, it's not pretty.

[S-to-the-D]

...*Looks away* But....I wanna help...*Puppy dog eyes*

[fae]

Ok...I'll take that as an appology not accepted...I thought thiscould be resolved...but apparently just appologizing isn't enough anymore. Sorry I wasted your time. I'll be at Trouf.

[Zi's Karate Muffin]

Its very nice Fae. You can be super emo.... that makes you more artistic!